Not to sound like a complete old fart, but what has happened to face to face conversation? I remember as a kid being chastised for talking on the (landline) phone rather than in person but even the act of actually talking on the phone is a dying form of communication.
In a race for efficiency we’ve lost authenticity. Relationships are only screen deep and feelings of loneliness and depression are on the rise. Desiring connection with other beings is a biological trait of the human race. We are pack animals and we crave the love and affection of those around us and our lack of actual connection is hurting us all.
Within your own family is a great place to rebuild and revitalize the lost art of actual human conversation WITHOUT a phone.
Reconnecting After a Long Day
Between work and now with Asher going to school some mornings, there are chunks of time where all of us are not together at the same time. In an attempt to reconnect I have started asking Asher (and Ellery) the following questions each night either while we eat dinner or while we are snuggling up to go to sleep.
By using these questions each day, the hubs and I get to learn about their day and also show them we are truly interested in what they have to say.
5 Easy Questions to Ask Your Kids
- Who did you sit by at snack/lunch time? This will get your kiddos talking about their friends and their interactions. Continue the conversation and ask about what they ate? Did they like it? What did their friends eat?
- What was your favorite activity you did/game you played today? If it was a game ask them to show you how it was played. One time Asher’s preK class played a game called Big Foot, where they had to race across a space with these giant feet on their shoes. It was so fun (and funny) watching Asher’s reenactment of that day.
- What was something that made you HAPPY today? Find out what sort of things spark happiness for your children. As they grow, they start to develop their own interests and now is the time to show them you are interested.
- What was something that made you sad or frustrated today? In line with number 3, this question shows kids that emotions are fair and completely normal. Let them know that it is okay to have had a struggle or frustrating part of their day. Connect further by sharing something in your day that was frustrating.
- What are you most excited about for next time? This will give you a chance to learn about what else is going on. What sort of things occupy your child’s mind. Asher loves Fridays because it is show and tell day in his PreK class. I love getting to see bits of his life through his eyes.
As our kids grow older and begin to leave the nest without us for periods of time, it can be hard not to feel like you’re “losing” them. By taking time to reconnect with your kids each day, you are able to remind your children that you’re always a family who values one another. Taking time to truly listen about another person’s life, shows them that you see them, you value you, you care for them.
These simple questions will be a building block to creating a relationship with your kids that has them coming to talk to you about the deeper, perhaps more difficult things in the future.
Try this with your kids tonight and let me know how it goes by commenting below!